How to Live in Denmark: A Fun Guide for Foreigners in Denmark and their Danish friends

Denmark and Butter: A Love Story

The hottest competitive sport in Denmark over the past year hasn’t been handball, or football, or badminton.

It’s been chasing cheap butter in the supermarket.

Recent inflation has doubled the price of butter – in some places, up to 30 kroner – but if you rush, you can get…a package of butter for 10 kroner at one supermarket…wait, only three packages per customer…but hey, this competing supermarket has matched the price…look, this other one has it for only 5 kroner…ohhhhhh, it’s sold out for today. Better come earlier tomorrow.

Butter chasing is how even high-achieving, high-earning Danes have been spending their time. Nobody wants to pay 30 kroner for butter.

Butter and the Danish soul

Butter is a part of the Danish soul. The Danish word for butter is smør…you might be familiar with smørrebrød, the famous open-faced Danish sandwiches. Smørrebrød means buttered bread.

April 5, 2023 by Kay Xander Mellish

In the Media

How to Work in Denmark in the Media

“The unwritten rules of Danish working culture” – Berlingske Business

“Starting a job in the Danish workplace can be hard for foreigners” – Danish regional newspaper network taler med amerikansk gaesteforelaser Kay Xander Mellish.

Danish “freedom with responsibility” can be misunderstood by internationals – Børsen Ledelse taler med Kay Xander Mellish, foredragsholder om dansk arbejdskultur.

“Ask for help when you need it” – Sondag Magazine interview med amerikansk gæstetaler Kay Xander Mellish.

“No one told me how important it is to eat cake in the office” – Femina taler med amerikansk oplaegsholder Kay Xander Mellish.

Four ways to avoid conflict with your international colleagues – Berlingske talks to Kay Xander Mellish, expert on Danish working culture:

Kay Xander Mellish speaks to TV2

April 2, 2023 by Kay Xander Mellish

“How to Work in Denmark” book in a brand new version

A brand new version of the “How to Work in Denmark” book is now available, with three new chapters.

“How to Work in Denmark:Tips for Finding a Job, Succeeding at Work, and Understanding your Danish Boss” has helped thousands of newcomers since it was issued in 2018 – but things change, and I have updated the book for the times.

Three new chapters

One new chapter talks about internationals managing Danes. Five years ago, a non-Danish boss with a Danish team was a rarity, but it isn’t any more. What’s it like to manage and motivate Danes?

We also look at what it’s like to work with Danes virtually – the top boss may be wearing a hoodie and dialing in from his summer house – and how Danes work with their neighbors, including Swedes, Norwegians, and the all-important Germans, who are Denmark’s top import and export partners.

The brand new “How to Live in Denmark” book is already available in eBook form via Saxo and Amazon. Paperback is open for webshop orders and you can also order it from any Danish bookstore. Order in bulk for your company or agency to get a volume discount.

Why job titles aren’t important in Denmark

It explains why job titles aren’t that important in Denmark, how to fine-tune your approach to the Danish job market, and look at whether joining a union is worth it. It also has tips on your first day at work, handling a meeting in Denmark, and the secrets of socializing with your Danish colleagues.

The book also talks about birthdays and gifts in the Danish workplace, decoding your Danish pay slip and your Danish taxes, and when to take sick leave.

It includes the special chapters “Will I ever be promoted?” and “Can I date my Danish colleague?“

November 15, 2022 by Kay Xander Mellish

Stories about life in Denmark, Travels in Denmark

Randers is not a joke

Every country, it seems, has a city or region that is the butt of jokes. The rest of the country makes fun of the locals’ abrasive accents and supposedly low-end behavior.

In the United States, it’s New Jersey. In Sweden it’s Skåne, the area close to Denmark that includes Malmo. I’ve been told that in England it’s Essex, in Scotland it’s Aberdeen, and in Ireland it’s Kerry.

In Denmark, it’s Randers.

Randers is a city in Northern Jutland, about a half hour away from Aarhus. It used to be bigger than Aarhus, and bigger than Aalborg too, but it was a manufacturing town, and when manufacturing fell apart in Denmark after the Second World War, so did Randers.

Today, the stereotype of Randers locals involves muscle meatheads, possibly criminal, possibly in some sort of motorcycle gang, with a rough, gravelly accent, and lots of tattoos and leather.

And that’s just the women. The men are the same, but with shorter haircuts.

September 21, 2022 by Kay Xander Mellish

Stories about life in Denmark, Travels in Denmark

The Bridges of Denmark

I don’t do a lot of stock market investing, but if I did, I’d want to go back in time and invest in companies that build bridges in Denmark. This country is on a tear when it comes to bridge building. Over the past decade, there have been 5 new major bridges in Copenhagen alone, and at least one new major one is planned.

And because this is Denmark, and people love design, each bridge has its own special look. You can’t just put up a few bridge supports and a deck on top for traffic. You need style, and you need a colorful name.

Consider, for example, the multicolored Kissing Bridge in Copenhagen. It’s not named that because you’re supposed to kiss on the bridge, although you can if you like. It’s named that because it breaks in half on a regular basis to let ships through, and then it’s supposed to come together again like a kiss.

The Kissing Bridge has needed to visit a relationship counselor, however, because there have been constant problems getting it to kiss. It wasn’t quite aligned the way it was supposed to be.

It seems to work now, although it’s rather steep and a difficult ride for bicyclists, which is rather a shame, because it is a bicycle and pedestrian bridge only. There are no cars on it.

Bicycle Snake and Brewing Bridge

The Bicycle Snake and the Brewing Bridge a little further down the harbor are also just for cyclists and walkers, and so is the Little Langebro bridge.

The Little Langebro bridge is currently the newest bridge in town, just a couple of years old. This is a neighborhood I don’t go to often, and I remember coming home from a late night engagement to suddenly find a new bridge in front of me, all lit up and ready to serve.

Whoa! Unexpected bridge. It was like a dream.

August 30, 2022 by Kay Xander Mellish

Stories about life in Denmark, Travels in Denmark

On returning to Denmark: Swimming in Copenhagen harbor, picking wild blackberries, and admiring Danish law and order

I’ve just come back to Denmark after some time away, and I’m happy to be here, particularly since the Danish summer weather has been lovely this year.

Of course, this creates problems of its own – Denmark is built for cool weather, not hot weather, which means that air conditioning is rare, even in the fitness center. Lifting barbells inside a room that feels like a toaster oven with thirty other sweaty people is really something. And not something good.

Still, it’s nice to be in Copenhagen during summer. The sidewalk cafés are open, and you don’t need a blanket to sit outside and enjoy your coffee.

I don’t think there’s a prettier city in the world on a lovely summer day, which is something you have to remember on one of those days in November when pelting grey rain angles into your eyeballs.

Swimming in Copenhagen harbor

One of my favorite things to do is swim in Copenhagen harbor, a formerly industrial waterway that has been cleaned up enough to become a giant swimming zone, although you’ll still see some seaweed and barnacles on the pull-up ladders.

There are spots set aside for swimmers as opposed to boaters, and these areas can get pretty crowded – lots of exposed pink flesh on display. Although, contrary to what many might believe, Copenhagen swimmers are not nude and the women are not topless.

An American journalist called me recently to ask about nude bathing in Denmark. In Copenhagen, I don’t see much of it, and the few nudes I do see are mostly men.

August 17, 2022 by Kay Xander Mellish

Stories about life in Denmark, Working in Denmark: Danish Business Culture

Working with Denmark’s neighbors: Sweden, Norway, Germany, and more

When I first arrived in Denmark, it was common to attend a meeting in which Danes, Norwegians, and Swedes would each speak their own language and simply assume everyone else understood.

It was a proud expression of Scandinavian solidarity.

Unfortunately it never worked very well, and everybody ended up understanding roughly 80% of what was being said. In particular, the Swedes and Norwegians struggled to puzzle out spoken Danish.

These days, the addition of other internationals to meetings means these inter-Scandinavian conversations are now conducted in English, to just about everyone’s relief.

August 8, 2022 by Kay Xander Mellish

Stories about life in Denmark

The ballad of the Danish Royal Teenagers

It’s hard to be a teenager no matter who you are or where you live, but spare a thought for the two teenagers who are currently part of the Danish Royal Family.

Christian is just 16 years old, and he’s the future King Christian the Eleventh of Denmark. Danish kings alternate between two names, Christian or Frederik, and his father’s name is Frederick, so Christian’s name was in place before he was even conceived, before his parents even met. He was always going to be Christian the Eleventh.

His sister, Isabella, is 15, and she and her young twin siblings are the spares. They have all of the media attention and the responsibility for good behavior that their brother has, but with no royal job waiting for them when they get older. Sure, they may cut a ribbon here or there, but they will have no guaranteed income from the Danish taxpayers.

Christian and Isabella have been in the news this week because the boarding school that Christian attends, and that Isabella plans to attend, was the subject of a TV documentary on bullying. This a school for Denmark’s elites – and yes, there is an elite class in Denmark, although they generally stay very well hidden. And this is an old-fashioned boarding school that still begins each educational year with a bird shooting, using bows and arrows.

According to some former students, violence was a part of daily life in the school. New students were dragged out of bed in the middle of the night and assaulted by older students. Many of those students are now leaders in Danish government and business life.

May 13, 2022 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark, Travels in Denmark

Tivoli vs Bakken: How two amusement parks show the two sides of Denmark

It’s spring in Denmark. The sunny days are longer, the daisies are popping up through the grass, and the sidewalk cafés are full again, even if you have to sit there with a blanket, which many cafés provide.

And Denmark’s amusement parks are opening up for the summer. Denmark has several amusement parks, including the original Legoland, but the ones I know best are the ones in Copenhagen – Tivoli Gardens and Bakken.

Tivoli and Bakken show two different sides of the Danish character.

Tivoli is the sleek, confident, high-end image that Denmark likes to present to the world: it has exquisite flower gardens, fancy shops and restaurants, and a theater that hosts world-class performers. Bakken is more homey, more quirky, a little shabby, and a bit more hyggelig, under my own definition of hygge as “unambitious enjoyment”.

The difference between the two parks also illustrates the class differences in Denmark – even though Danes like to pretend there are no class differences in egalitarian Denmark.

Visiting Bakken

Bakken is clearly the more working-class of the two and opens every year with a huge convoy of thousands of motorcycles roaring through the city. It happens every April – I hear a huge mechanical growl in the distance, and then I realize, ahhhhh, Bakken is opening today.

April 28, 2022 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

On the Road: Copenhagen Northwest, beyond the cherry trees

It’s springtime, and the cherry trees are about to bloom in Copenhagen Northwest, which is usually the only time people who live outside Northwest bother to go there.

Northwest is a working class neighborhood, so much so that the streets are named after working-class occupations.

While other Copenhagen neighborhoods have streets named after kings and queens and generals, Northwest has Brick-maker street, and Book-binder street, and Rope-maker street, and Barrel-maker street.

But there are other things to see in Copenhagen Northwest besides the cherry trees, which have become a bit of a crowd scene since they were reported on by a national news network.

Old city, new neighborhood

Like many industrial districts in a post-industrial society, Northwest has become a bit of a trendy neighborhood. I live here, and when I first moved here ten years ago it was hard to find a café to meet up in. Lots of cafés and restaurants now, lots of young people, lots of activity.

March 19, 2022 by Kay Xander Mellish

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Kay Xander Mellish is a US-DK dual citizen. She grew up in Wisconsin, USA, but has lived in Denmark for more than a decade. Kay is a popular keynote speaker on Danish working culture and offers practical advice to international professionals navigating Danish work environments.

In addition, she helps Americans and Danes avoid misunderstandings and improve their cross-cultural teamwork.

Kay is the author of "How to Work in Denmark" (2022 and 2018), "How to Live in Denmark" (2017 and 2014), "Top 35 Mistakes Danes Make in English" (2016), "Working with Americans: Tips for Danes" (2019), and "Working with Danes: Tips for Americans" (2020). All of her books are also available in audio format.